I wanted my blog to be somewhere to go and find positivity and happiness, So this blog post is most certainly not to put a downer on the mood, i just really need to voice this as i’ve been very annoyed reading some comments in regards to suicide and mental health after the recent passing of Linkin Parks Chester Bennington – Which has broken many peoples hearts this afternoon. I’m really not sure i’m going to get this out correctly but i’ll try my best (forgive me if it’s badly written/doesn’t make sense)
Last year i posted my story on how i struggled with depression and anxiety throughout my late teens – I wanted people online to see that even though someone may look like they have it all figured out, in reality they may not. They may be struggling each day with personal issues or with their own minds. The weird thing is sometimes it’s only the people closest to that person who see the truth of it, It’s easy to hide away that feeling of darkness and loneliness when you have to, although sometimes you just can’t. When you’re in that bad place, you genuinely feel useless – your mind honestly feels clouded over with bad thoughts, you think the world is better off without you, you think your family and friends would be better off without you, as you feel like a burden. Sometimes they can last a day, sometimes a week and sometimes months, You feel like you are NEVER going to escape them either… it’s weird because when the fog finally clears you think to yourself ‘wow, i can’t believe i didn’t think i could get through it’ – it scares me a little because it’s something you have no control over. Depression does not care for what a great family & friend group you have, it doesn’t care for the job you love, it doesn’t care for what great talents you may have, depression is like an evil fucking chip on your shoulder that you have to tell yourself not to listen to.
To say that someone is selfish for taking their own life and leaving behind their family and great talent and friends is disgusting. These comments made me feel genuinely sick and i cannot believe that it’s 2017 and people are still so close minded on this topic. Seeing comments putting the man down saying he chose the easy way out, stating that they had worse problems and got through it…. are you joking? Do not belittle someones problems and be so self absorbed. Everyone handles things differently, surely you can agree that if someone is willing to take their own life there is something seriously wrong with their perception of things and were clearly so unwell that they thought everyone around them was better off? How is that so hard to understand? – The reason there is still a stigma around discussing mental health is because people still don’t understand the illness and are unwilling to open their minds and even consider it as being a genuine killer. I can understand it being hard to understand if you’ve never experienced it yourself, but please for the love of god just listen.
Now, if you’re reading this and are struggling please don’t hesitate to message someone and talk to them. You can get through it, i promise. Once you’re through it, you’ll have days you want to burst with joy at the fact you made it, you’ll probably even have a little cry (or a big one!) I think i explained in my last post that you’ll be sitting on public transport one day with your fave song playing, and it’ll hit you that you’ve made it! You’ll experience this feeling more than once, sometimes you’ll get goosebumps over it – basically, what i’m trying to say is, regardless of people that do not understand, there is people that do! They can help you through every step, you’ve got as much of a right to be on this earth as anyone else, regardless of what depression makes you think.
You can read my previous post on my story
For Uk suffers you can contact any numbers on this website –
For abroad –
Rip Chester, your music will live on.
Lots of love to you all and stay safe xx